Peacock

Here’s another Dad joke sent to me by a mate of mine – don’t read if you’re offended by political incorrectness ๐Ÿ™‚
I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 84).
We decided to grab a bite at the food court.


I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him.


The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green, red, orange, and blue.


My dad kept staring at him.


The teenager would look and find him staring every time.


When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked:

‘What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?’


Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.


And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response:

   
Got stoned once and fucked a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.’

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Dad Jokes

OK I’m a lousy joke teller with a limited repertoire and I tend to tell the same ones over if I have a new audience but there are a couple that do get a laugh, usually politically incorrect and probably very corny.   When a man gets to a certain age his kids generally call them Dad Jokes.

So here are a couple that always get a laugh and a groan.

“Did you hear about that actress who stabbed herself!? It was just on the news! Reese whatshername!”
“Witherspoon!?”
“No, with a knife.”

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I rear-ended a car this morning. I knew it was going to be a really bad day!
The driver got out of the other car and I looked down and realized he was a dwarf!!!
He looked up at me and said โ€œIโ€™M NOT HAPPY!โ€
So I said, โ€œWell then, which one are you then?โ€

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Not so remarkably there are a number of sites dedicated to the art of Dad Jokes and here are a few of them –

Dad’s Bad Jokes
Dad Squad
Dad Jokes

And there’s even a Dad Jokes Facebook group which I would urge everyone who loves bad jokes to join.

And if anyone has any really bad ones please leave them in the comments section.