The Power of Me

I forgot to grab my book yesterday morning and I hate doing that my one hour train trip each day seems much longer when I don’t have a book to read.  So the obvious thing to do was to go out at lunch time and buy something that would make the trip home bearable.

Two people have commented recently about Eckart Tolle and his book the Power of Now and it has practically jumped off the shelf at me several times in the past few weeks, as it has fallen off the shelf as my lady walked past it, so it was obvious to me that I should purchase it and see whether the hype matches the reality.

I should start by saying that as I look back over the recent years that I am a significantly different person now to who I was then.  I was once a totally rational man, the spritual meant little to me.  But if I said that I have seen auras and shapechangers, that I have had my dead father sit on the end of my bed, that I can feel pain by passing my hands over people, I would expect most people who know me to call me mad.  And perhaps they would be right, sometimes I feel that way as well.  I once would not have found the courage to write such things and perhaps that is the measure of the change.

And I have read much that has changed me, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, Gordon Livingston’s Too Soon Old – Too Late Smart, and of course Don’t sweat the small stuff by Richard Carlson.   Each of those have opened me to the spiritual and it is fair to say that my journey is at the beginning and that I have much to learn.

I have been both empowered and enslaved by my life.  That should be no secret to people either because we are all the same.  What I have begun to learn is that my life experiences have shaped me and the decisions I have made.  Some have not liked that and many, including myself, have probably not understood it.  So if I have spent a lot of time reflecting on this blog, it is because I am learning lessons from those reflections.  I am understanding what has made me what I am.

I have just begun the Power of Now and I will be interested to see how it does change me as I find my way through it.  I have no preconceptions for the knowledge of my self has been found in unexpected places.  No doubt there will be at least a few blog posts where I discuss what he talks about.

The train trip last night was not the place to really get into the book so instead I decided to try and open my senses to what was going on around me.  I have tended to spend the time on the train totally divorcing myself from the Now, but tonight I decided that I would exercise each sense and try and feel what was happening.

I saw people swaying with the movement, some sleeping, reading papers and books, doing cross words, listening to ipods and in most cases oblivious to those around them, seated next to and touching total strangers unaware of the contact.

I heard the clickety clack of the train, and the whine of the steel wheels on steel tracks, the whoosh of air from the pneumatic doors, the sound of my breath, of music leaked from ear phones, the bells of level crossings, occasionally a phone would ring and I could hear one side of the conversations about when people would get home, or what was for dinner, and the whisper of conversations from seats away.   When the automated announcements of upcoming stations was played over the loud speaker systems I not only heard it but felt it reverberating in my chest.

I felt the pressure on the balls and heels of my feet as I stood in the doorway for an hour, and the brush of my trousers on the hairs of my legs as I swayed to the movement of the train.  I felt an itch on my back and the scratch of my nail as I reacted to it, and the movement of air through my bowels as I resisted the urge to fart.   In clasping one hand on the other I felt the blood rushing through my veins and the beat of my heart.  A breeze caressed my face as the air forced it’s way in through the door seals.

And I looked around a last time and saw a hundred people cloistered in their own world, oblivious to everything I had experienced and I wondered how many times I had done the same thing and missed what was truly happening around me.

I have no idea if the Power of Now has anything to do with what I did tonight but I am looking forward to finding out.  Stay with me!


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