It’s about time

I won’t be sorry to see the back of 2008.  It was the best of times it was the worst of times.   And I have actually tried writing this post twice and been thrown out and lost it twice.  Maybe someones trying to tell me something.   I was pretty ungracious to people in the earlier versions.  So I figure I’ll tone it down a bit.

What did I learn?

Firstly that putting things in writing is not necessarily a good thing with personal stuff because it can be passed onto people who have no right to see it.  That people will also talk out of school – two job interviews in a the same industry this year spent a lot of time concentrating on my personal life rather than my ability to do the job.   Made me realise that maybe I won’t work in that industry again.   People gossip way too much.

Secondly with work stuff I’ve learnt that I need to insist on having things in writing.  Despite people claiming friendship and giving personal undertakings to behave in a certain way, they will do what is best for them not for you.

And from that lesson and others I’ve learnt that friendship is a fickle thing.  That some people sometimes will judge and not be able to shift from that judgement.    That forgiveness is not easily come by.

I’ve also learnt that people need to be held accountable in the roles they are in.    It is not right that they ignore what their governance documents tell them they should do.   If you accept that the personal qualities required for a position include honesty, respect and professionalism, then make sure you abide by them rather than ignore them.

And despite that, I have learnt that help comes from unexpected places and that there are people who are prepared to assist where they can.

That if the universe has a purpose it is sometimes cloaked in darkness.  That things unfold as they will and that the unexpected is the norm.

And there were also plenty of good things – a trip to Thailand with my lady, a recommitment and rebirth of my relationship with my daughters, my heart to hearts with my sisters, my Mum’s finally agreeing to meet my new lady and her efforts to come to know her, my new dog Ramsey, our new home, the new work direction and meeting new people.

So the worst of times but way more importantly the best of times.

And if the universe has a purpose I have learnt that it is better not to know what it is.  That there will always be unexpected turns, for better and worse, but that ultimately in all things, good and bad, we can learn lessons to make us better people.

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It’s about time

I won’t be sorry to see the back of 2008.  It was the best of times it was the worst of times.   And I have actually tried writing this post twice and been thrown out and lost it twice.  Maybe someones trying to tell me something.   I was pretty ungracious to people in the earlier versions.  So I figure I’ll tone it down a bit.

What did I learn?

Firstly that putting things in writing is not necessarily a good thing with personal stuff because it can be passed onto people who have no right to see it.  That people will also talk out of school – two job interviews in a the same industry this year spent a lot of time concentrating on my personal life rather than my ability to do the job.   Made me realise that maybe I won’t work in that industry again.   People gossip way too much.

Secondly with work stuff I’ve learnt that I need to insist on having things in writing.  Despite people claiming friendship and giving personal undertakings to behave in a certain way, they will do what is best for them not for you.

And from that lesson and others I’ve learnt that friendship is a fickle thing.  That some people sometimes will judge and not be able to shift from that judgement.    That forgiveness is not easily come by.

I’ve also learnt that people need to be held accountable in the roles they are in.    It is not right that they ignore what their governance documents tell them they should do.   If you accept that the personal qualities required for a position include honesty, respect and professionalism, then make sure you abide by them rather than ignore them.

And despite that, I have learnt that help comes from unexpected places and that there are people who are prepared to assist where they can.

That if the universe has a purpose it is sometimes cloaked in darkness.  That things unfold as they will and that the unexpected is the norm.

And there were also plenty of good things – a trip to Thailand with my lady, a recommitment and rebirth of my relationship with my daughters, my heart to hearts with my sisters, my Mum’s finally agreeing to meet my new lady and her efforts to come to know her, my new dog Ramsey, our new home, the new work direction and meeting new people.

So the worst of times but way more importantly the best of times.

And if the universe has a purpose I have learnt that it is better not to know what it is.  That there will always be unexpected turns, for better and worse, but that ultimately in all things, good and bad, we can learn lessons to make us better people.

Change

We cannot change anything until we accept it.  Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses
-Carl Jung

Change before you have to.
– Jack Welch

Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens.  The sleeper must awaken.
– Frank Herbert

The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.
– Flannery O’Connor

Change in all things is sweet.
– Aristotle

Things do not change:  we change.
– Henry David Thoreau

I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
– Jimmy Dean

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
– James 1:17

Change

We cannot change anything until we accept it.  Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses
-Carl Jung

Change before you have to.
– Jack Welch

Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens.  The sleeper must awaken.
– Frank Herbert

The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.
– Flannery O’Connor

Change in all things is sweet.
– Aristotle

Things do not change:  we change.
– Henry David Thoreau

I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.
– Jimmy Dean

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
– James 1:17

Christmas Day

I’m actually writing this one on Tuesday but I’m setting it to post on Christmas Day.  May I wish everyone of my diminishing band of readers all the best for the season and hope that your wishes come true.   Provided of course they aren’t meant to harm anyone.

This year marks another change in what Christmas has been and if I look back over the past 4 I can see each one was very different.   2005 was the last of my old family Christmases.  2006 was marked by me spending Christmas lunch alone.  Last year was the first with my new partner and the last time I will go to the home of my old family for Christmas mornings.  It was also marked by my treatment as a ghost by a number of people who didn’t acknowledge my presence on that day.  That experience continued during the year with old friends deciding to terminate contact with me for reasons they know but I fail to understand.

This year, probably by the time anyone actually reads this post, my kids are coming to my place for breakfast.  My new partners family is arriving for a mid morning breakfast, after which we will eat alone again.  Last year we actually took the dog for a walk on Christmas Day, this year with an extra dog we may do the same.   And later in the afternoon my family will arrive for dinner, for the first time in my new home.

So new traditions begin and the old can go their own ways.  Maybe paths will cross again some day.  Maybe not.  But if I’ve learnt anything over the past few years it is not to take things personally and not to make assumptions.  To do either simply leads to that old familiar bitter and twisted sort of feeling and life is way to short to dwell on the past.

Merry Christmas everyone from this person who was once a ghost and who is now prepared to live again.

Christmas Day

I’m actually writing this one on Tuesday but I’m setting it to post on Christmas Day.  May I wish everyone of my diminishing band of readers all the best for the season and hope that your wishes come true.   Provided of course they aren’t meant to harm anyone.

This year marks another change in what Christmas has been and if I look back over the past 4 I can see each one was very different.   2005 was the last of my old family Christmases.  2006 was marked by me spending Christmas lunch alone.  Last year was the first with my new partner and the last time I will go to the home of my old family for Christmas mornings.  It was also marked by my treatment as a ghost by a number of people who didn’t acknowledge my presence on that day.  That experience continued during the year with old friends deciding to terminate contact with me for reasons they know but I fail to understand.

This year, probably by the time anyone actually reads this post, my kids are coming to my place for breakfast.  My new partners family is arriving for a mid morning breakfast, after which we will eat alone again.  Last year we actually took the dog for a walk on Christmas Day, this year with an extra dog we may do the same.   And later in the afternoon my family will arrive for dinner, for the first time in my new home.

So new traditions begin and the old can go their own ways.  Maybe paths will cross again some day.  Maybe not.  But if I’ve learnt anything over the past few years it is not to take things personally and not to make assumptions.  To do either simply leads to that old familiar bitter and twisted sort of feeling and life is way to short to dwell on the past.

Merry Christmas everyone from this person who was once a ghost and who is now prepared to live again.

Ettiquette

Is that really spelt with four “t’s” – i can’t be bothered looking it up so if someone cares to comment I’d appreciate it.

Must be getting a bit weary after a big year and a little cranky at times too.  Not enough to do a full on rave like some I’ve read lately, but maybe enough to point out a few things about manners.

It has been a long time since I worked regularly in the city, more than 10 years and there are both things I enjoy about it and other things that I’d prefer not to have to deal with.  Is it just me or do other people realise that manners seem to have been forgotten.   Here’s a few things about that 40ed [ 4 “t” ed get it – groan, very bad pun I know] word up there.

Don’t walk 4 abreast on the footpath.

If you are walking to an intersection and approaching a red light, let the people through who have the green light facing them.

Remember there are such things as lift [elevator] protocols.  If there are a lot of people queued up waiting for one to arrive, which happens often in the building I work in, don’t effin push in to the front.

There, that’s much better *sigh*  ;). 

And if really doesn’t have 4 t’s please accept my apology.

Ettiquette

Is that really spelt with four “t’s” – i can’t be bothered looking it up so if someone cares to comment I’d appreciate it.

Must be getting a bit weary after a big year and a little cranky at times too.  Not enough to do a full on rave like some I’ve read lately, but maybe enough to point out a few things about manners.

It has been a long time since I worked regularly in the city, more than 10 years and there are both things I enjoy about it and other things that I’d prefer not to have to deal with.  Is it just me or do other people realise that manners seem to have been forgotten.   Here’s a few things about that 40ed [ 4 “t” ed get it – groan, very bad pun I know] word up there.

Don’t walk 4 abreast on the footpath.

If you are walking to an intersection and approaching a red light, let the people through who have the green light facing them.

Remember there are such things as lift [elevator] protocols.  If there are a lot of people queued up waiting for one to arrive, which happens often in the building I work in, don’t effin push in to the front.

There, that’s much better *sigh*  ;). 

And if really doesn’t have 4 t’s please accept my apology.