I don’t like cricket

I love it. At least the long form of the game. Test cricket is what I’m talking about and I certainly won’t try and explain it to people not born to it because unless you know the culture it is virtually impossible to explain a game that goes for 5 days but may not produce a result. Here is one of the more succinct explanations of the game –

You have two sides one out in the field and one in.

Each man that’s in the side that’s in goes out and when he’s out he comes in and the next man goes in until he’s out.

When they are all out the side that’s out comes in and the side that’s been in goes out and tries to get those coming in out.

Sometimes you get men still in and not out.

When both sides have been in and out twice including the not outs , THAT’S THE END OF THE GAME!

I hope that explains it.

Australia is currently playing a test series against India and is one up in the series with the second match having begun in Sydney today. If we win this one it will equal our world record of 16 consecutive test match victories. For those who don’t know, this is a remarkable feat and shows the dominance this team has had over all other test playing nations in the recent past. Admittedly they include places like Bangla Desh and Sri Lanka – the latter of which is playing pretty good cricket at the moment. But there is also New Zealand, England and South Africa included in that run of victories.

In the first session of the match this morning India were on top and in the early stages of the afternoon session they took four wickets for 16 runs leaving us in a precarious position of 6 for 134 – no I’m not going to try and explain that. If you know anything at all about the game you’ll know it means that India were on top and that Australia was struggling, if you know nothing, then you’ll just have to take my word for it.

As I sit here now though Australia has recovered to be 7 for 354 which is a remarkable and stunning recovery. This was due to a fine seventy odd by a bowler Brad Hogg and an even better 138 not out by Andrew Symonds.

But, believe it or not, this isn’t a post strictly about cricket but about mixed metaphors because listening to the radio earlier today a commentator said when Symonds had just come to the crease that “He may well fall on his sword but he will go down with all guns blazing”. Now that may not be my favourite mixed metaphor but it comes close.

My favourite is by a young lady whose name escapes me, who said on radio 3AW many years ago – “That opens the floodgates to Pandora’s Box of worms.”

So my question to you dear readers is what is your favourite mixed metaphor?

And finally here is a song form my past by 10CC

Picture of Andrew Symonds from Pictopia


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