Assumptions? Do me a favour…


We all make assumptions and whilst I try not to, I am finding that it is a very difficult thing not to do. I have made assumptions about people’s behaviour, about their character, about their feelings and motivations, about their lifestyles, even about their emotions. I have labelled people and been labelled because of assumptions.

The problem with assuming things is it leads to incorrect behaviour on my part. Sometimes when you think you are doing the right thing, it can be totally wrong. I am not a good communicator when it comes to personal issues. Put me in front of an audience where I’m talking about work related stuff and I do a good job – get me one on one to talk about feelings and I generally fail miserably and clam up. Maybe that’s a male thing, maybe it’s a result of being a turtle – pulling my head inside my shell every time it looks like getting knocked off.

I’ve also made assumptions about why people read what I write and for those who comment I think it’s because there is some way in which we connect. But maybe I’m wrong to assume that too.

Funny I started blogging simply as a form of therapy and if I dig back into my archives I see that the comments there were few and far between. Somewhere along the way though, I began to see the establishment of my own little community, people who visited me and who I in turn visited and came to know. I have assumed, and again maybe incorrectly, that most people who read my blogs regularly are also bloggers. Certainly everyone who comments [with the exception of you Jen] seem to also write your own blogs.

But I am curious about the rest of you and therefore I am asking a favour. If you read this please leave a comment as to who and where you are and maybe if you feel like it why you visit here. If you are a blogger please visit the other bloggers who comment and maybe leave a comment on one of their posts saying Loz sent you 😉

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54 Comments

  1. Dorothy said,

    October 25, 2007 at 3:59 am

    Loz, another good mark for your character..and you didn’t even know it.. Wanting to help others get comments on their blogs. Sharing the good things you experience in life. Nice post, and great thought for all of us bloggers. I’ll send em your way if I can.. Makes for interesting reading.

    Regards, Dorothy from grammology
    call your grandma

    http://grammology.com

  2. Josie Two Shoes said,

    October 25, 2007 at 4:50 am

    I am Josie2Shoes, checkin in from New Mexico, USA. I come here daily, usually more than once, to see what new posts you might have written. I come because I like the things you share about yourself and life, and what you’re learning. I come here because I can relate.

  3. Loz said,

    October 25, 2007 at 4:55 am

    Thanks Dorothy and Josie. Now I have to ask – what are you both doing up so late?

  4. terri said,

    October 25, 2007 at 12:13 pm

    I think I wandered over here from Dan’s blog (Cafe Leone) and I keep coming back because much of what you write tells a story. I’m a sucker for a good story and I love the posts where you are reminiscing about your past.

  5. FindingHeart said,

    October 25, 2007 at 12:13 pm

    Loz, what’s the old saying about “Birds of a feather…?” I visit because I find comfort knowing others have gone through or are going through what I went through and that collectively, we help each other (whether we mean to or not) find our way the healthy place we want to be. So, I find a lot of thought provoking on your pages sometimes.

    Who am I? Old southern boy, (admittedly not as ‘south’ as you) living in Texas pulling his way out of divorce buy finding the truths I need to be a better dad of two and husband for one.

    Lastly, Demotivational posters are my FAVORITE posters in the world! LOL! I use them in presentations whenever I can. Ha!!

    Live well.

  6. Josie Two Shoes said,

    October 25, 2007 at 2:44 pm

    I was up late because of the drama in my life yesterday, defintely couldn’t sleep much after that. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. I KNOW you know that!

  7. Beth said,

    October 25, 2007 at 2:54 pm

    Loz;
    this is Beth from mylifestartsatfortytwo.com. I love coming here – I have been for over a year now to see how you are doing. You have come a long way my friend…

  8. M said,

    October 25, 2007 at 4:27 pm

    I confess I don’t remember how I came across your blog, but found that we seem to be on similar journeys. Seeing life from a male perspective has been helpful to me and certainly the comments you have made on my
    blog
    along the way have been much appreciated.

  9. Finn said,

    October 25, 2007 at 5:16 pm

    Hey Loz… I think I wandered over here because you linked to my blog. I keep coming because I find your introspection interesting.

    I don’t comment as much as I want to because your site loads really slowly for me. But I do read every day!

  10. HappyStill said,

    October 25, 2007 at 10:05 pm

    Hiya, Loz
    in response to your blog.. I am in Ireland, i am a single parent, I work full time and by the time the day is over I am fit for.. well, very little really.
    I often do what you are suggesting.. visit one blog and then hop all over the place using the comments as a guide. It’s a bit like a treasure hunt. Sometimes you find mouldy old things; sometimes you strike gold. I have been very lucky on my cyber travels. I have come across so many people who are trying to make sense of the world nd it seems as if we are all coming up with broadly the same answers.
    I write because it gets it out of my system. I am at what people describe as an awkward age.. not quite old enough to give up the ghost.. not quite young enough to throw myself on the ground and have a tantrum. Blogging lets me rage and rave (I s’pose you have noticed) in a nice anonymous and generally supportive environment. And I love finding other people’s music.
    I will be following you and your suggestions. Iwill probably visit about a million people over the next year or so and I’ll be starting from you,Catherine,Linda and ‘Hypo’
    See ya honey

  11. Nascar and the Canadian Curmudgeon said,

    October 25, 2007 at 11:33 pm

    I am another blogger who visits other sites to learn about people…fascinating stuff…It’s amazing how many people are different but have similar thoughts….keep it up.. this old redneck enjoys all of it…

    cheers

  12. Lisa said,

    October 26, 2007 at 12:28 am

    Hi Loz,
    I’m Lisa from Massachusetts USA — I don’t remember how I found you, but I’ve been enjoying your blog for several months now. You’ve given me some good thoughts on single parenting, and you definitely make me smile!

  13. Pen and the Sword said,

    October 26, 2007 at 1:12 am

    I am Anita better known as Pen. I live in Minnesota, USA. I have two adorable twins boys and a lovely hubby and when I am not frantically picking up the house, playing with my kids (all three of them – LOL) or working I am here in the blogosphere.

    I do write my own blog and for much of the same reasons you do, but also to develop my skills as a writer as well.

    I come to your blog because you always have something really thought provoking and intelligent to say. You open up your mind and let us wander around. Never mind that you are a superb writer. I like to think that I take away a little bit of everyone’s blog I read. Broadens my mindset and writing ideas.

    And your input on my blogs has always been appreciated because you always have level, intelligent, well thought out things to say. :o)

  14. Anonymous said,

    October 26, 2007 at 2:58 am

    I am Jen and live in the Yarra Valley, Victoria, Australia. (And thankyou Laurie for the special mention). I guess because I found you in another format on-line, I became interested in lots of the parallels in our lives.

    I know I don’t comment often but I do read everything you write and process it internally I guess.

    I’m sure all your regular readers feel a connectedness to you as I do. And that we relate at some level. Some of us on many levels.

    You are a wonderful writer and you have a way with words that bring us back for more. Love that!

    And of course your journey that you share with us is so special, and I for one am grateful that you share.

    Have set a goal to meet you one day. After all we really don’t live that far from each other. lol.

    You’re a very special man. x

  15. SecludedHabitat said,

    October 26, 2007 at 8:51 am

    Heya Loz,
    Second time reader but I thought I would say HOWDDDY.

    A very interesting post and a good read.
    Stu

  16. OMYWORD! said,

    October 26, 2007 at 9:49 am

    Hi Loz – You started your blog around the same time I did. You were one of my first readers and pals. I was attracted to your picture – it is so happy. Looking at it always makes me smile, even now. Then, as I read your posts, I was struck by your honesty and humanity. You were struggling through life just like I, and everyone else on this planet, was. I appreciated the risks you were taking, and the fact that you stuck to it, even with family drama.

    Thanks for doing this broadcast. You reminded me that I haven’t visited you in a while.

    I’m Lisa Wines, formerly of Arizona, now living in Paris. I dropped out of corporate America and am freelancing in any way I possibly can…writing, editing, voice over, on-camera training stuff, brain surgery, etc.

  17. Mark Dykeman said,

    October 26, 2007 at 11:41 am

    IF this appears more than once… I apologize!

    Interesting and clever idea!

    This is actually my first visit to your site (saw your broadcast on Blog Catalog). I’ll be reading your blog on the strength of this post and your writing style.

    I’m Mark Dykeman and I write over at the Uncanny Broadcasting Brain Blog. I live in the province of New Brunswick in Canada.

    Cheers!

  18. Lynda Lehmann said,

    October 26, 2007 at 1:08 pm

    Hi Loz,

    Interesting and honest post that I found meaningful. I think it’s a man thing, the part about not expressing feelings well or much. But you did well here! 🙂

    I’m Lynda Lehmann from Peripheral Vision, where I blog about art, the environment, and life. I’ve visited your blog a few times before, although not recently.

    It would be a wonderful thing to somehow make the commenting process more personal, so it will become more meaningful for all of us.

    I think our common humanity is very precious, and we need to find ways to share it, as well as sharing information…

  19. Aldon Hynes said,

    October 26, 2007 at 2:02 pm

    Who I am:

    Hi. I’m Aldon, an old guard hardcore geek with interests in technology, politics, social media and networks.

    I’ve been blogging for several years, including being credentialed to cover the 2004 Democratic National Convention in Boston and the Libby Trial in Washington DC.

    I live in Woodbridge, CT, just north of New Haven.

    My blog is Orient Lodge. Please, stop by and say hi.

    I first found your blog through MyBlogLog.

    I like to come back because there is a little more personality and reality to it than many of the political and technical blogs that I visit.

    I’ve been on the road a bit over the past few days, so I’m way behind in my emails, blog reading and so on.

    So, I will try to visit the blogs of other people posting here, but it I probably won’t get to them all immediately.

  20. Olga, the Traveling Bra said,

    October 26, 2007 at 3:15 pm

    Hello Loz – I found your blog on BlogCatalog, where I seem to have found most of the blogs I enjoy reading/commenting on (& I’ll admit, I need to start visiting yours more often!)

    I started Olga’s blog 6 months ago “just for fun” as a way for a few old girlfriends from high school to stay in touch…but since then, Olga has been so warmly embraced by other bloggers that she has truly taken on a life of her own!…& as a result, I have made a lot of new, really great friends in the blogosphere! I try to read & comment on my favorite blogs plus a couple of new ones every day. I love it.

    As for me?…oh, I’m just a typical (that’s ATYPICAL) middle-aged wife/mom residing in Northern California whose alter-ago has become a Traveling Bra. Some of my friends & neighbors don’t understand & think that’s kinda weird, but thankfully…my online blogger friends “get it!” 🙂

    -Shawn (aka: Olga, the Traveling Bra)

  21. Rod said,

    October 26, 2007 at 5:01 pm

    I am Rod from Inside Rod’s Head.

    I’ve been coming here for the past few months through Skipper’s referral.

    I visit to read your interesting and insightful take on life as it continues to develop and unfold around you.

    R

    P.S. This post, though, I ran into from a link at Aldon Hynes’ Orient Lodge

  22. paisley said,

    October 27, 2007 at 2:29 am

    well loz.. i have been here since i first found you via blog log or blog catalog,, i am unsure which.. you and i ,, as different as we are,, often tread the same path,, and i am forever interested in your journey,, and your take on the journey that is life…

    you are practically family at this point!!!!!!

  23. Loz said,

    October 27, 2007 at 4:18 am

    Terri – it’s the stories people tell that keep me coming back to there blogs – yours included.

    Findingheart – I reckon I’m not only more south than you but older too. And I think you are right about the Birds of a Feather. For me it has been very helpful to read the stories of others going through similar things.

    Beth – I’m very grateful you do call me friend and note to that you were one of the first to become a regular visitor.

  24. Loz said,

    October 27, 2007 at 4:21 am

    M – And I likewise value your comments here.

    Finn – you wander far and wide on your blog and that’s one reason why I keep visiting you too.

    Happystill – I think I said that I have an aim to visit your country one day, in the meantime I enjoy hearing your take on things Irish. And I agree, it’s great when you can stumble upon a new gem and make it a favourite

  25. Loz said,

    October 27, 2007 at 4:24 am

    to the Curmudgeonly Canuck – you my friend are a recent discovery and I’m enjoying my visits to your blog.

    Lisa – I think we all learn from each other here and that’s what I’ve come to value about this community

  26. Loz said,

    October 27, 2007 at 4:29 am

    Pen – I am really flattered by what you have said but also know that I value your input here to.

    Jen – Now you should spend less time reading and start your own blog 🙂

    Stu – I’ve just found your blog too and will be back. I look forward to getting to know you.

    Lisa – formerly Miss Arizona, I thoroughly enjoy the humour on your blogs and always get a smile from what you write.

  27. Loz said,

    October 27, 2007 at 4:37 am

    Mark Dykeman – welcome and thanks for commenting. I kept getting broadcasts from a lot of other people so thought I’d give it a go. It’s great that it worked and has given me a few new blogs to add to my roll, yours included.

    Lynda – you are a wonderful artist and photographer and I’ll be back to visit you often.

    Aldon – from memory you were one of the first to add me on mybloglog and I thnakyou for that.

    Olga – I’m enjoying watching your travels and if ever you get to Oz you better look me up 🙂

  28. Loz said,

    October 27, 2007 at 4:47 am

    Rod – I regard you and Beth as my friends and value that friendship highly even if we do occasionally “respectfully disagree” 🙂

  29. Loz said,

    October 27, 2007 at 4:49 am

    Paisley – I’ve said earlier that some of those who have commented here were amongst the first to do so on my blogs, but I think you were the first and I find you equally as fascinating now as I did then. Thank you for your friendship and for making me open my eyes to different things at times. And I would be proud to call you family.

  30. reasonable robinson said,

    October 27, 2007 at 8:28 am

    Hi Loz,

    I came to your blog via Aldon and the Orient Lodge. I’ve been blogging since April 2007, when I decided to find out what was really happening with this ‘social networking’ phenomenon. I really liked your post about Assumptions because it is a common theme on my blog Gullibility For work I am what my colleagues describe as a ‘pracademic’, I work at a university in the UK lecturing researching and consulting in the field of organisation and management. I presently undertaking a doctoral degree and at 51 I’m finding it an amazing experience, and I believe I am getting more from it now than I would have in my 30s. I have two sons 18 and 21 who live in Plymouth UK, I live in Nottingham (Robin Hood territory) and yes the Sheriff is still here to! Like Finding heart I had to pull through a divorce 10 years ago, wife ran off with bloke I employed when I was in industry! I would heartily recommend Spiral Dynamics by Beck and Cowan as a real eye opener on values and change and also Ken Wilber’s stuff best regards RR UK

  31. Jod{i} said,

    October 27, 2007 at 11:25 am

    I am Jodi(aka daizie in some parts), calling from Connecticut, USA. Why do I read here?
    Ummmmm….cause I like your writing. I enjoy reading your thoughts, I find myself walking away thinking myself.
    There is a bit of commonality. Maybe that is why I return?

  32. Loz said,

    October 27, 2007 at 11:33 am

    RR – thanks for dropping by and more importantly for commenting. Like all the new visitors here I’ll add you to my blogroll and I’ll make sure I look up your suggestions.

  33. Loz said,

    October 27, 2007 at 11:38 am

    Jodi – you too are already one of my favourites. Isn’t it amazing that we can find connections with people spread around the world from vastly different backgrounds but with blogging as the surface connection. I say that because with many of you I feel like I have made deeper connections.

  34. deathsweep said,

    October 27, 2007 at 1:23 pm

    Hey Loz, I’ve seen you around for the few months that I have been involved with blogging and have been here several times, comments or not – I also have seen you on my blog and I thank you. From just the comments I’ve read it seems I need to frequent here more often!

    DS

  35. HollyGL said,

    October 28, 2007 at 4:04 am

    Hi Loz, Well, for the record, I’m in Chicago USA. I can’t remember if I found you or you found me. It seems so long ago.

    I think we allow other bloggers entree into various layers of our heart – though I guess some don’t even make it to the outskirts. Its not so much the amount of time known as it is the connection felt. With you, it was pretty much a straight shot in.

    Your groundedness, and consistently supportive presence – as well as our similar perspectives – have kept you as one of my dearly held friends. Blog or no blog.

  36. JYankee said,

    October 28, 2007 at 11:02 am

    Hi Loz,

    I am JYankee an ex-patriot (from the US) living in Shizuoka Japan..I came across your blog because I often see your warm and understanding comments on other people’s blogs.. we seem to run in the same circle…and also because I see you lurk on my blog in the same way I sometimes lurk on yours!

  37. kellypea said,

    October 29, 2007 at 2:55 am

    Hi loz. I think I remember finding your blog on MyBlogLog and first reading a post you wrote about your daughter. If I remember correctly, you weren’t getting along at the time. The post touched me being someone who never had a strong relationship with a father, and hearing a father’s perspective was very nice.

    I stop by your blog, but don’t comment often, which is not like me. I have noticed that you frequently comment on blogs that I visit and that you are very kind and supportive with your words.

    I’m from So Cal by the way…

  38. Dorothy said,

    October 29, 2007 at 3:17 am

    Loz, I sell commercial real estate by day and am a closet blogger by night. I rarely sleep more than 4 hours even at 61. Go figure. My mom said I was like this when I was 4..Sleeping means giving up life.

    Hope all is well..

    Dorothy from grammology
    call your grandma

    I think I found you from snorsked.

  39. Loz said,

    October 29, 2007 at 4:10 am

    Deathsweep – you have one of the most fascinating blogs I have come across.

  40. Sandi said,

    October 29, 2007 at 4:24 am

    Hi. 🙂 I am Sandi from the manicmanicurist blog. I think I found you from a blog on my blogroll.
    I enjoy reading that others are finding the same issues as me at midlife…
    definitely going to check out the other blogs 🙂

  41. Loz said,

    October 29, 2007 at 4:51 am

    JYankee – i do try not to just lurk and comment where I can. Thankyou for taking the time to visit again.

  42. Loz said,

    October 29, 2007 at 6:26 am

    Dorothy – I can survive on around 6 hours a night for a while but it does catch up with me eventually

  43. Loz said,

    October 29, 2007 at 6:27 am

    Kelly – thanks for that. A father’s lot is not a happy one sometimes 🙂

  44. mariano said,

    October 29, 2007 at 7:17 pm

    Hi! I´m Mariano from Argentina…I entered your blog and I like it a lot..
    do you want to change links?
    mine is:
    http://www.que-curiosos.blogspot.com/
    i´ll put you in my links now..
    thanks see you

  45. CuriousC said,

    October 29, 2007 at 11:17 pm

    First time visitor… Found you from a comment on another favorite blog: Gazing Into the Abyss (Hi Wolfgang!)

  46. Micki said,

    October 31, 2007 at 1:37 am

    Micki of My Rearview Mirror at mickiberthelot.com. Southeast Louisiana – Denham Springs to be exact. I work in Baton Rouge.

    I am a blog wanderer when I can manage the time, so goodness knows how I found you. I’m glad I did.

  47. Loz said,

    October 31, 2007 at 1:47 am

    Micki – you were another of my original commenters and thank you for your continued presence. I’m glad we found each other too.

  48. Gypsy said,

    October 31, 2007 at 4:32 am

    Hi Loz
    I keep thinking I’ve left comments everywhere but obviously I am forgetting to click Publish…DUH.

    For the record I am Gypsy from Adelaide, South Australia and I honestly can’t remember how I found you or if you found me. All I DO remember is that I was so thrilled to find another Aussie in the blogosphere. At least I don’t have to explain my slang to you…lol.

    I love your blog Loz. I think you are a sweet, gentle man and a rare gem in this sometimes harsh world. Whoever found who first doesn’t matter. It only matters that we did 🙂

  49. Loz said,

    October 31, 2007 at 5:11 am

    Gypsy – now I’m stretching the brain cells here but I think one of your first comments was about your beloved Adelaide Crows and I thought that poor lady – fancy barracking for a team like that.

    Seriously though, I have been flattered by what people are saying about me here because none of what I write would exist without the motivation you and my other friends give me. Thank you!

  50. Gypsy said,

    October 31, 2007 at 1:45 pm

    Ahem Loz…do I need to remind you about who’s team finished above who’s in the league last season. Nuff said 🙂

  51. Loz said,

    October 31, 2007 at 11:17 pm

    You do not need to remind me dear Gypsy – but bring o 2008 🙂

  52. Jeff said,

    November 1, 2007 at 10:00 pm

    I think you came to my blog first from Jodi{i}’s blog – I think. I keep coming back because I do feel we are kindred spirits. You think beyond the surface and that is where I also live.

  53. Blur Ting said,

    November 12, 2007 at 11:44 am

    Sorry Loz, for being late. But better late than never! I’m signing in here…blur ting.

  54. Nathaniel Sloan said,

    May 13, 2011 at 3:33 am

    some random guy from San Jose, CA.. frustrated with assumptions and how absolutely everything that is known by anyone starts with an assumption.. and assumptions built upon assumptions create knowledge which is built upon knowledge of other things which are combined with observations built off off a lot of that stuff over and over and over and over.. =O/


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