Big couple of weeks

It has been a big couple of weeks. Son number 1 staying with me for a month – water, electricity and gas bills quadrupled in that time, but absolutely terrific to have him here. He returns to RMC Duntroon on Sunday, will be down for a week in October and all being well, will grduate on 11 December this year. Shortly after that he will join his unit wherever that happens to be – likely in either Queensland or the Northern Territory and I guess will be off overseas at some stage next year.

Then there was the drama of the Amanda incident. I really am not sure how many others who know me are reading this, but I guess there will be some who judge and those who gossip, perhaps even some who do forgive. I was grateful for the email from the ex stating she did forgive me and that she was now looking forward to moving on.

With that also came a letter from her solicitor seeking settlement and we are working through that. I got advice from a solicitor as well who said that the settlement was within the realms of what a court would order, but if we go to court it could end up costing thousands in legal fees, so we won’t go down that path. I have been paying well beyond what I am legally required to as far as child support goes and will continue to do so despite my solicitor advising against it. I figure that I don’t want to force a sale of the house and I need to maintain that level of support if I want my kids to stay in the family home for the forseeable future. Our youngest is still only 13 so that will be at least until she turns 18.

Tomorrow is my birthday and despite the fact that the separation is now more than a year old I still hate these sorts of anniversaries. Not that I want to go back, just that they do make me sad – when will that sadness end?

I was planning to spend the day with my kids but daughter number one is working and son number two is going to the footy. I will turn up at daughter number two’s basketball game tomorrow afternoon for the first time since she told be to stay away. I hope she doesn’t mind that. All of the kids and I will be going to my sister’s who has asked us over to celebrate my birthday.

I will be having dinner with my new lady and some work colleagues on Sunday night. One of them mentioned today that maybe my sister is giving me a surprise party and I laughed because apart from family there is no one to ask. My mate Ian is still overseas and I don’t see anyone else from before separation so I am expecting that it will be with my two sisters, their families and my Mum which will be nice.

I do look forward to the time when the two sides of my life will merge and there is no discomfort from anyone associated with any side of my life. Maybe that won’t happen till my ex does find someone else and everyone sees her happy again. At least that’s what I hope.

I haven’t really been affected by milestone birthdays before but I have to say turning 50 is a bit scarey. Moving into my second half century with the end of life likely at some time in the next 50 years. I’ve called it the rush of years before, that feeling that life accelerates as you get older. As a kid I used to measure life by birthdays and Christmas, now both seem to come up far too regularly. I think it was Woody Allen who said “I’m not afraid of death, I’d just prefer not to be there when it happens.”


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